Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
