One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
