Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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