My first STD was from a foam party
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
