I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
