Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...

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(914): ____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker... http://tfl.nu/8now

Replies (1) Good night (1294) Bad night (573)
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(510): View more from California

So drunk, too bad you don't want this

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(510): So drunk, too bad you don't want this http://tfl.nu/0z98

Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (1002)
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(718): View more from New York

no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.

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(718): no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours. http://tfl.nu/ektb

Replies (3) Good night (4136) Bad night (1087)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

This house was built for laser tag.

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(336): This house was built for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/32ag

Replies (14) Good night (9032) Bad night (717)
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(310): View more from California

as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'

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(310): as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!' http://tfl.nu/csk1

Replies (34) Good night (5986) Bad night (1239)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.

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(662): There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up. http://tfl.nu/6xku

Replies (4) Good night (1931) Bad night (983)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...

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(504): But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude... http://tfl.nu/qh38

Replies (8) Good night (1779) Bad night (1113)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.

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(678): I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding. http://tfl.nu/gais

Replies (6) Good night (1668) Bad night (544)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.

(1-520): View more from Arizona

I can pencil you in at 3:30

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(520): Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk. (1-520): I can pencil you in at 3:30 http://tfl.nu/ztyv

Replies (8) Good night (3079) Bad night (969)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it

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(828): It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it http://tfl.nu/e4ef

Replies (9) Good night (2179) Bad night (540)
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(219): View more from Indiana

i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver

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(219): i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver http://tfl.nu/fqhq

Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (416)
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(561): View more from Florida

I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.

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(561): I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face. http://tfl.nu/v359

Replies (6) Good night (425) Bad night (656)
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(925): View more from California

I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.

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(925): I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time. http://tfl.nu/6mzl

Replies (3) Good night (1217) Bad night (342)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.

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(201): Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour. http://tfl.nu/pcyi

Replies (8) Good night (560) Bad night (1224)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.

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(443): Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue. http://tfl.nu/vk1w

Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (485)

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