i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)