Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

Fav 41 1297 4799
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

(203): View more from Connecticut

but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

Fav 34 4943 1245
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(865): View more from Tennessee

that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.

Fav 41 1466 6102
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?

Fav 11 4313 1248
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.

Fav 26 1203 6746
share tweet
(616): View more from Michigan

you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way

Fav 19 1008 6922
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.

Fav 13 3960 1659
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.

Fav 4 1440 986
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Importance

Fav 1 46 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT