so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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