I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
