I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
