So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I skipped work to stalk him.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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