I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
