your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
