; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the condom got lost in my hair
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
