How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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