Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?