Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.