What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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