btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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