I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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