I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
