i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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