OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
