I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
