My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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