Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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