you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
