gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
