I wish life had little blips of pornography
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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