His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
