Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
