No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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