dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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