I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
