No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
