i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
