just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
only you would photoshop your dick
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
