Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize