You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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