remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My legs feel like baby dolphins
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
