Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
