Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
