Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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