that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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