Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
