dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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