you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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