i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Non-Jews are for practice
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
