no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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