We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
