i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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