This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How drunk are you?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.