Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.