you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart