Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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