Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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