I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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