Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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