I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize