Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
