Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
