we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
