Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
